Friday 19 September 2008

Rubbish Times - a paper?

The week has passed in slight nausea and sever headaches. It is so that on Monday I picked a fight with a fuse box and came out badly. I know what you think. A fuse box?! The story is long and I have no intention of boring anyone with it. And how I came out so badly? It wasn’t just an ordinary fuse box. It was a cast iron monster from Victorian times. Now the question arouses how on earth we could have a cast iron fuse box from Victorian times 2000miles from the UK while Finland, has not been a colony. Of the UK. It is quite simple! In the late 60s or early 70s when Finland was still a budget economy Oulu started to become a booming city. In fact, it has become a city. Well, Town if you should really ask. But as construction remained on tight budget apart from or due to the bomb shelters in the basement of every building, fuse boxes were imported from British scrap yards or former African colonies. So there we go.

Do not! Ever pick a fight with such an instalment. Especially not using you head. I lost my balance and nearly fell over. I probably suffered a mild concussion and I am wearing the mark of the incident for some time to come. Lesson learnt: solid metal is not to be approached with head at high speed. Tobi was being solidary for a while and a couple of day back he started banging his head to the wall. Easy for him, his brain is in a shockproof skull harder than anything I have ever seen, even cast iron fuse boxes. When the wall started cracking I asked him to stop. He did. I guess some things are even too much for him.

The week wasn’t that great on us. Especially on me. Couple of days back I have been to the dentist. I do that regularly because some eons ago a root canal treatment has been started on one of my tooth. Since, generations came and went and this particular tooth has been passed down from father to son 3 times already and if things continue on their current course I will have to hand this tooth over to Lili when time comes, or so it feels. The last 3 times I have been visiting the dentist I was told that they need 1 or maybe 2 more sessions to finish the job. They live off me. I wonder if in a couple of years time I will have a 25foot deep and 3 foot wide hole dug in my face… where will it go? A portal into another world? A beginning to another Narnia story with a bunch of Dental Specialist as the main characters? What kind of magical world would they find walking through my mouth? One can only imagine! But tries not to.

I played it safe. Tobi was locked in the bathroom the whole time. I took up a meditating body position, relaxed, breathing steadily and deeply in a slow rhythm. Mind more less empty focusing on only a handful and otherwise nice things. Last time I did this I almost fell asleep. I know, I am cool. Things proceeded just the same way, occasionally I had the sensation that there is an almost breakthrough into Dental Narnia but I remained in a more less trans like state till the moment when I was forced back to reality. I received a shower of antiseptic something! I checked myself, I have remained motionless before and until this shower, wasn’t jumping kicking anything. I gazed around but Tobi wasn’t there. He was not to blame. I still wonder how the stuff they use to wash and clean the insides of my tooth has ended up in my ear? Either the brake through was not to the land of magic, which I doubt because surely I would feel the consequences or somehow my dental professional missed a bit. Sensational feeling. No apology which made me feel I should be doing that. I discarded. After all they do get paid well digging a bit and splashing some water around in a familiar environment every couple of months.

I survived the dentist and of course the dentist survived me. Other event of the week that Tobi became Famous! Sort of. A bunch of prisoners have heard of him and found him interesting. Cool even. Now we are trusted with building a platform so they can all have a share of the fun. Well, they were not prisoners like criminals. In a sense. But of words. Of course in some cultures that is an offence or even a crime. Although that would be more like some political establishments. Anyway. They liked Tobi without meeting him. I guess most people do. Which is cool.

Just like me.

He is away now. Something about a shopping tour getting winter clothes and having to sort things back home. I mean Vietnam. He mumbled something about growing up or something, he is trying to fix some paperwork.
I guess it is ok. We will be rather busy with socialising during the weekend anyway. With people.

Tuesday 16 September 2008

Update on Smile revolution, Tobi-Flower and Weather Forecast

Starting with the weather. We can predict that winter will be cold. Plain and cold after a long and rainy autumn. Trees are beautiful but they would be more so if the sun was out. Which is not. It is out there of course but there are clouds in the sky without the meaning to move. Wind has abandoned us. No wonder, we have not been giving offerings. No kite flying, not Tobi in the air.

Although I am happy to report that Tobi is pretty much back to his usual self. Things at first got from bad to worst as he not only had the appearance of a sunflower in a large pot but within a day from our gruesome encounter with the otherwise lovely and chatty fairies he stopped moving about. He even stopped eating although he seemed to have appreciated when I watered him with some plant food mixed in the water. Jen said he must have been upset and his serious condition was due to that and not the fairies’ magic but I didn’t believe her. Lili really liked the decorated Tobi last week so she keeps bringing him leaves and flowers to keep going but since he is himself again he really doesn’t want them. Afraid I guess. Which brings some questions about the motives and attitudes of these fairies now, after all, how is it to govern people and dragons alike with the instrument of fear? It’s like making people wait for the little green man on a Saturday morning before crossing the road not because there is plenty of traffic or because people wouldn’t trust their ability to judge when it is safe crossing the road but because of the hefty 60 Euro fine. That would be a well accommodated social rule than now would it? But in our human society since the cult of Hobbes begun combining with Machiavellian thinking and bringing into its glory with Nietzhean ides FEAR is the sole governing principle of social organisation. I just didn’t expect fairies that they would do such things… make someone be afraid!
Hang on…
He is telling me, the former sunflower, he has no fear in his heart. That is not why he doesn’t want the flowers. Although they are pretty, now he understands. He just reminded me that for the last week he has been a flower. And it was wonderful. But he loves flowers now in a very different way. Ok, sometimes it is fun to eat them but they… He is getting to emotional to make out his words. And I guess I am taking back the stuff about the fairies. They are quite tricky I guess. They finished the job of creating a pacifist dragon. A concept I knew could not exist.

Let as Smile together. Happy or not here I smile!
Some people just smile at my attempt of trying to make a smile revolution. I quietly note them down as sympathisers or passive supporters but won over to the cause never the less. They smile at me! I guess it is all about being positive. Notice the smile. Don’t notice the not smile. Stuff like that. But it is getting there. However today I will not go out much. I am not in the mood for smile. Smile rest… Maybe in the evening. Gather more supporters to the revolution. I wonder if we ever need a battle cruiser for this, something called Aurora or so. It is hard to imagine smiling happily, full of love while shelling the winter palace. I guess even Bolsheviks got it wrong. I know some people who will be delighted to hear this from me.
And finish it with a question:
What is common between
Gandhi, Guevara and Mandela?
Or in friendlier terms
Mahatma, Ernesto and Nelson?

And I think Tobi can make use of the poster paint! He can be painted flowery! A happy dragon

and further reading

Wednesday 10 September 2008

Fairies, Flowers and Smiles

I didn’t have to go to work today, as there was no work to go to. A day off. As now it is a usual again, Lili, Tobi, Moses and I set off to find something to do in town. As I have spent some time already looking for poster paint we have visited the last resort> The ART Shop!
We went in, I asked and the shop assistant looked at me as if I have been trying to buy nukes, or worst: weed in her shop. After some negotiation and explaining during which her hands several times reached for the shotgun under the counter, never really grabbing it though, lucky for us, we finally have discovered that yes, not only they sold poster paint in half litre tubs but it was written on the tubs in 6 different languages 'Poster Paint'. I think her hands may have been twitchy wanting to shoot because of Tobi. He sometimes does that to people. Fear of the unknown or just plainly terrifying, I imagine.

We had some hotdog for lunch which was a bit of a waste of money, it would have been enough to get the sausages as the ducks and seagulls got hold of our bread in crumbled doses somehow falling into the water at regular internals.

On the way home we met a friend who seemed to have been very excited about the idea of finally organising a revolution in Oulu. Unlike another acquaintance who seemed to have been a bit freaked out when I presented to her on the bus, smiling and grinning like a mad apple that I am the epicentre of a smile revolution in the city. No! This guy already dreamed up whole structures of organisations and smile squads raiding locals and entire neighbourhoods smiling at anything that moves. He almost got me into this 'Revolution NEEDS organisation' stuff but on the way home some wonderful accident happened!

We cycled through the forest which was nice, Tobi flying just a bit ahead of us singing some songs about mushrooms between toes when he suddenly turned around and screamed 'I got and idea!' I think he was referring to the revolution but he failed to have a chance elaborating as he run straight into a gathering group of fairies who came to hold up and have a quick chat with us. They got a bit annoyed with Tobi and not only for bumping into their delicate beings with his dragon like manners. No. He was decorated in flowers. In the morning while we were cycling to town he stopped at every flower bed or patch and took quite a healthy amount to decorate himself with them. Head to toe. He looked and smelled lovely so I didn’t complain although I felt for the flowers even if I know that their days now are really counted before the frost... I mean really counted, something like 2 or maybe 3. So the fairies got a bit and I think unreasonably pissed at him and he got a good lesson. He still looks lovely. In fact he looks like a large pot of sunflowers. It is quite comic. I wonder how he still manages to fly and breath fire. I sometimes love fairy magic. But I am forgetting the true importance of the meeting. They, the Oululinen Anarcho-Syndicalist Fairy Commune are - of course - in strong opposition to an actual organisation behind the smile revolution. They think that it is a bed idea and will result in Bolshevik style dictatorship. I think they over reacting a bit but they convinced me that under no circumstances I should be involved in smile squads or their existence. However, I don’t think they have managed to convince Tobi, to the contrary it seems our friend already has one to sign up. The fairies said his sunflower pot appearance will wear off in a week or so, nothing to Worry.

The day is finished and I ran out of smiles. For today. Lili is asleep and my wife lives the life of a true student getting drunk on a party mid-week while I spit ... well not fire but letters from my fingertips. Tobi, for the time being is a lovely decoration.

A half hour writing

Sunday 7 September 2008

17 Compact Discs

Molly is coming home tomorrow from Tunis where she has been working for the last week or so. Arranging all the little details that entail such event, as the returning home, Lili has been on the phone to her quite a lot today. She didn’t want to wait till she got home to use skype so she was using my mobile while in the Café creating a probably huge imaginary bill for the long and many international calls.

Tobi gets blamed for burping these days. Lili takes advantage and does not hold back while out in public and just blames it on Tobi… I wonder where she learned that from.

The joys of parenthood: Dinner

There is someone who does not like to eat dinner unless it is one of her favourite. Soup is especially deadly so it is not eaten under any circumstances. Lili fell asleep sitting at the table instead. I gave her some toast and cheese and woke her up because I do not want to be woken at 4am that ‘I’m hungry’ on a whingy voice. After quickly working the bread in, my daughter bursts into life and cheerfully engaged the evening. We tried to ignore her and be no fun responding to everything ‘No because you didn’t eat your dinner.’ Some time later she revealed that she wasn’t tired before at all, just knew this was the best way to get out of the soup and get some toast instead. Tobi Does Not understand her. Why, why is she picky about the food?! I guess this is what kids do. I asked him has he ever sat between lunch and dinner at the table because dragon mama made him for refusing to finish his plate (or whatever they may have been using)? He looked at me thinking I clearly do not understand the meaning of life. ‘Of course not’ he said but I have. Lili got to be stubborn for a reason.

Tobi doesn’t come to work with me anymore. I don’t think he is mean or anything, but as I am bored as hell with my job I believe so is he and he has the choice not to bother with it. He comes with me in the mornings, we meet up after work, hang out but in Onnela I am on my own. Instead of keeping me company he does stuff like jumping on flying trampolines in the afternoons or so Lili says so.

Some time ago I have written about the anarchist movement I began to build quietly here in Oulu. It is about the traffic lights. A choice of crossing the road when it is safe, when there is no traffic instead of letting a little bright green man telling us to go. I also have written about how I came to perceive that things have changed. There are more and many more followers of the idea while common sense is spilling into other areas of life. I can safely and confidently state that this tiny but powerful revolution has in such short time managed to rock society, the pillars that are set in seemingly indestructible concrete ideas and hold the very structure of social contract of Oulu society have bee shaken, the cement is cracked and the time for the next step has come. Smile!

Yes, we smile. And even Tobi’s otherwise almost terrifying smiles are returned. More and more people move to acknowledge ones present, existence and after creating even a brief eye contact, many smiles back! I know, just the same way Jen and I have revolutionised Glasgow by spreading the idea of cycling instead of getting into a car, here many will within a matter of years will share the town with a 100 000 others rather than merely happen to leave in the same post code area.

Within years Oulu will be the Northern City of Smiles!
A wonderful concept. Ask me about it at 6:37am on Thursday morning 12th February 2009 approximately 3.5 hours before sunrise, on my way to work waiting on the bus, outside temperature 32.35 Celsius below zero.

Ps:-one must wonder about the title

Wednesday 3 September 2008

Raincoats, Picnic Basket and disappointed kites…

A day for rest, meeting people and hanging out with the loved child and an occasionally grumpy dragon. We left late morning, our bag filled with goodies, still hopeful but our mood and the sky already clouding over. By lunch time it was clearly not a day for eating outside. We were dressed for the cool(!) occasion but the rain just didn’t make it all the more likely to enjoy that nice food.

We ate in a café and after some time in the library where Tobi insisted on taking all the CDs home which fortunately we couldn’t, only about 2 dozens , so after the library we headed home. Lili was about starting to cry in disappointment so we did stop on one of the small islands getting our blanket out on top of the insulating mat and had some snacks. We had our picnic after all, against all odds, wind wasn’t suiting us. Tobi flew up with one of the kites trying to amuse us but after tangling himself severely in the strings and tails he fell on the ground with a big thump. We tried not to laugh but we also felt for him. Gathering ourselves to make for home rain started again.

Lili passed out the moment we left and Tobi kindly offered to fly home not having to carry him as well. At last in the warm house we celebrated our successful day with ice-cream. Also said Goodbye to Molly who as I found out moved to Tunis for an undefined length of time. I will miss her. I think she is a she.

Last week Tobi pressed me to tell him about my childhood. Eventually I did and looked around on a web based social networking site similar to Facebook but mainly only for Hungarians in Hungarian only and a lot more boring too.

Finding a few people I started to run into interesting things. Of course one can argue that we will see what we chose to see which got to be true, ask any religious person for instance. In Hungary I am seeing creeping or not so creeping but out in the open Fascism. I found an old mate from primary school for example whose introduction lines on his profile focused on letting the world know that he is racist and proud of it. Another old childhood friend I managed to get as far as talking on skype with. At some point hestarted lecturing me about all those bloody immigrants who are all so bad for all those reasons he’s got in his head. This has happened shortly after I explained to him how I have immigrated to three different countries in the last 10 years so basically I am a professional immigrant and soon will get a proper certificate from the EU for it and stuff. True. Tobi says so!


I got a bit discouraged from getting in touch with people just for the sake of it, see how they do from all this time. Of course… I will need my angle of perception, recreate the world around me and things will come out different. Tobi said he will help with drumming, Jen will get me some dried sage and Lili promised she won’t be snoring

Tuesday 2 September 2008

The Gospel of Tobi

The other day I have heard a story from Tobi. I do occasionally and he claims that the words that leave his lips are always the truth so I would believe him.

Some days back we were watching wild goose flying in formation, we have some spare time then and now. He flew up to have a quick chat which he has managed to draw into a lengthy conversation after overcoming the initial panic of course. Not his panic you can imagine. Up north there is a particularly interesting tribe, of wild goose, which has managed fairly well this summer. They have certainly over produced their quota for raising the kids and for growing fat for the journey back home (for if you remember, migratory birds don’t live in Europe. They only come here to work and their permanent addresses are in the warmer, nicer place).

So they have decided to eat less, and sell of the now increased surplus on the open market. You may have read about the appearance of Goose in northern Finland. There are some rumours that one of their companies has done so well that now they have decided to bring some 35% of the company on the stock market in Helsinki. They have been encouraged, due to the great success; they are expected to bring trading to London even. I am thinking myself to get some of their stocks, might be a good investment. Or might just be a hot air balloon ready to burst at the first sign of trouble. But I am getting off my story here because here is the reason why they have decided to do this, I mean going on the market. Now that great flock can charter a plane or two to take them to North Africa. They won’t have to bother winging it for that 4 thousand km. They save time and energy not to mention that they will be able to catch up with East Enders sooner. I think they got some brain.

Of course it could be just an urban, hm, Lapland legend. But Tobi was convinced and he retelling the story convinced us. And anyway, his words are the words of gospel. Some of you might be reassured by that and of course some others will take the hint.


On Saturday night we were out on a birthday party. Our host has a wicked sense of humour at times similarly to me. At some point in the evening he had us listen to some Soviet music and when finally the old anthem came up I stopped mid sentence, kicked my chair back and stood up saluting the music. It was fantastic to see the faces of my company. For a split second none was sure if I was serious. I peaked over my shoulder curious to see Tobi’s reaction to that but I could only see it indirectly, as he fell off from the banister on the balcony to the depth beneath from the 4th floor. Could he not fly he would have had me worried. We concluded it was a nice evening even if we foreigners have this fantastic habit of moaning and whinging on our miserable lives here in Oulu. Even after kindly reminding ourselves that after a holiday it is fantastic to come home at last. There is something irresistible about northern Finland.


It seems that Tobi and Bla have made quite a friendship with Sagy and I feel that I am the one now appearing mean and things like that. This morning Lili saw them flying of to meet some ‘friends’ as they have mysteriously put it. I guess they are kinda grown up so we can have them to be on this.

Jen told me that penicillin was invented by a Scotsman. Although I don’t doubt it the name itself is a bit dubious. It was invented by a Doctor Cillin who named this marvellous wonder after his wife whose nickname was Peni. Peni Cillin. I love this Story. To compare it to one, Vitamin C was found by a Hungarian doctor who has named it after his favourite dog, Vitamin and his usual sitting area in the stadium watching his team play, C. Sometimes the truth can be far more revealing than we can imagine. While writing this Tobi is gently chewing on my wrist. He seems to think I am full of it.